Playing House (Porter) - Alterations While U Wait

"I know something of lust." The statement was neutral - not quite regretful, but certainly not flirtatious.

She sighed.

"I see to be stepping on landmines here. I apologize."

"No apology is necessary, Raz0r. I allowed myself to be bound, and it ended badly. That is my issue, and if we are as one, then it becomes your issue. You should not be apologizing for landmines; I should be apologizing for not drawing a map."

She drew herself closer to him.

"I enjoy discovering what the map looks like. And just give me the word, and I can make your bond go away, if it still exists. It will just hurt both of us, a lot."

"I will not ask that sacrifice of you, though I believe you are willing to make it. It is not necessary. As one runs with weights to build strength, so too have I found you, loved you, in spite of any lingering influence. Think how much stronger my love shall be when the last vestiges of nostalgia fade away? I shall burst forth like Harrison Bergeron in his final glory."

She nodded.

"As you wish, my heart. I simply wish to take your burdens from you."

"Such is the nature of love. But we must also let those we love grow on their own. Fighting what remains of that bond is part and parcel of the healing process."

"Which is why I will not force you. But my heart would not allow me to not make the offer."

"I know. And I'm glad of it."

She shakes her head, then rests she cheek against his chest.

"This is all so very new to me. I hope I do nothing wrong."

"Relationships, be they romantic or platonic friendships, are not based on whether you make mistakes, my love, but rather on how we act once we realize a mistake was made. Perfection is inhuman. I'm not here for a robot - I'm here for you."

"Forgive my insecurities, my love. I have had a hell of a life, both before and after my death. I have spent more time in war than in peace. And less time with meaningful relationships in my life."

"You are clever, and acquire new skills easily. Trust is a skill."

"Trust in other is easier than trust in myself. I am a Goddess, yes, when it comes to Technology. This is entirely new to me."

"Perhaps you allow yourself to be intimidated because of a lack of predictability in human behavior - relative to your tech, anyhow. Yet there is a predictability there. We should get you something on game theory."

She blinked, and nodded.

"Likely. I want to learn more, but human nature is completely alien to me. It has been since I was a small child."

"That's an intriguing proposition. No wonder you were so uncomfortable acting as the family's 'face'."

She nodded.

"I was faking it as best I could, because I know Kindred. Even when KiY was Primogen, I was the face of the clan."

"Yet you seem so eager to help people - do you not feel comfortable around others, Raz0r?"

"Just because I want to help specific ones, doesn't mean that I understand them. Rai is the closest thing to a friend I have, Ethan and I use each other frequently, and Jamie has what loyalty I have left after Clan. Specific people, I get. The human race, not so much."

"Interesting. You never cease to amaze, Raz0r - I wonder at your wondering. Do you feel - or rather, did you - that you are a stranger in a strange land?"

She smirked.

"From the age of ten, when my parent's died and I was put into the foster system."

"Feeling as though you have no family, no roots, is traumatic indeed. Small wonder you have thrown yourself wholeheartedly into supporting the clan - and any other poor raggamuffin who crosses your path." He chuckled.

She chuckled.

"I was literally about to sell my only friend to feed my Meth habit when I was found. The clan saved my life. I owe it nothing less."

"I was reared by the church. I think I have an inkling of what you're talking about."