Whats the trouble - Dima's Appartment

It seemed to be the answer he expected because all he does is nod "I understand Dima. No need to appologize" he says quietly, not taking his eyes from the road. Without looking over, he reaches aside and takes the mans hand, entwining his fingers with Dima's hesitantly.

"You have to know... this won't work the way you want it to..." he said softly. His fingers entwined with Marcus's held his hand affectionately. Concern etched across his features, as he glanced over to look at Marcus.

"If your words are true and honest with me, and more importantly yourself. You need to know that, you will never be a member of my family. Sasha will not embrace you with open arms, Dara will always hate you for having a part of my heart that she doesn't. Can you really live like that?" Dima asked him softly.

He is thoughtful for a moment, then looks over at Dima "How do you want this to work Dima. You've spent so much time on me, what is it that you want from us. In answer to your question...I don't know Dima. At this moment, I can say that I can live like that, as long as I know that I'm important to you, that you will keep me safe and cherish me. But ten years of being hated by the people you hold most dear in life will be intense. If I'm being honest with myself, that's what I would say. But another, louder part is screaming at me to try. To not be one of those old people that always wondered if they made the right decision and traveling down the 'what if I had said yes' roads."

His jaw is set firmly "I'm not trying to replace them or worm into your family. I know I'll always be an outsider looking into on the christmas dinner, but that's the life of a nosferatu Dima. It comes with the territory." He says with the a certain degree of resignation to his voice, something that he's learned to accept as just another facet of his own personal curse.

They stop at a stop light and Dima looked over to Marcus, his eyes held a sad intense kind of pain.

"How can you ask me to tell you I love you? To knowingly make this harder, when you, so young don't know the half of what you are getting into when it comes to me? To know it, and then tell you what you have found out tonight. It is hard enough for you with out you having to worry about hurting me if you decide to walk away. If I wasn't so selfish I would have never met with you again once I realized I care for you, had feelings for you past just what my blood makes me do. Hell maybe I even used it as an excuse because part of me wanted to taste you so badly after the way we met." Dima looked at Marcus questioningly wanting him to have the answers for questions he didn't even understand how to express.

"Because I'm afraid." He blurts out finally, eyes starting too pool again with tears "I'm afraid that you'll meet someone else and that all those things she said would be true. And that I go back to being just some sad, pathetic little nosferatu pining against a world that dealt her a shitty hand. In you, I see hope Dima. I see a promise that I can be so much more then what I started as." He wipes at his eyes, shaking his head "But I'm afraid. I know that on some levels, you care for almost everyone you sleep with and that's fine with me. You find yourself drawn to them, and that's fine with me too. You have a sister you love, and a wife you cherish above all others. I'm even fine with that. But tonight, the words she spoke nearly took hold in me. Nearly had me believing that you, this, us...was all just some idle fancy of yours, like thousands overs over the years." He lowers his head, not able to look up at Dima "But I know it's not true. I know! And because I know, and because her words drove themselves so deeply into me, I feel unworthy of your love. Unworthy of your affection. In the end, I'm nothing but a selfish little girl trying to find my own dark knight" he lifts his hands to his face, covering himself in shame as he begins to cry in earnest.

He sighed and pulled over to the side of the road, putting the car in park he took off his seat belt, and slid across the bench seat to hold Marcus. Wrapping his arms around him, he held him gently rocking him rubbing his back and soothing him, "Shhh, don't cry." he whispered. Holding Marcus tightly to him, as he sat there his eyes closed because this was exactly what he meant earlier when he said he always hurt people.

"And now" he mutters, sagging into Dima "Now you'll want me even less... I try so hard to be sunshine and happiness around people Dima. But it's so hard all the time. It's so hard making people believe that everything is all right. That I'm not going to flip out and just go all postal on people. Did I ever tell you about how I got my bloodbond broken?" he asks, the tears beginning to slow to a trickle.

"Why would I love you less because you have feelings and emotions. Things I have been trying to get to, to talk to you about since our second night together when we talked about parts of what my life is like?" He caressed Marcus's back holding him still.


"My life sucks, and I am not with you because you are happiness and sunshine. I am with you, because you are soulful, and kind, and loving, and caring. Because you try to see the good in every one, even where so very little exists sometimes."

Dima looked down at Marcus... "Raz0r is going to kill me if she finds out I made you cry..." he teased, but it was an empty teasing... one that was hoping for a smile, but not expecting it to work.

But the sudden randomness of the comment had the desired effect though as Marcus just starts laughing, and laughing while leaning into DIma's frame "Oh..my god. She would fucking go ballistic. I'd explain it to her though, and change my mask so that it doesn't even show..." he laughs a bit longer, then slowly fades into a couple of titters. "DIma." he says finally "I don't know what the future will bring for us, but I want to be by your side for every step of it. If that means I have to stay away from your family...then so be it. It...doesn't matter in the end. Only thing that matters is how you feel about me, and how I feel about you.." He offers a gentle smile up at the man, once again wiping the drying blood with the back of his hand. "There are a couple things I need to tell you though about me. Nothing you don't already know...but just things that paints a fuller picture for you." His hand slides over Dima's stomach, again not sexually, but the simple connection through touch Marcus seems so fond of.

Dima kisses Marcus once holding him tightly. "Can we make a date, and sit down and talk about all of these things when I don't feel like there is an axe hanging over my head?" he asked him almost playfully.

He nods, returning the kiss to Dima's bare chest "Yeah...we can love. Oh...I also didn't tell her we had shared blood. So, you don't have to worry about that one. Ok?" He smiles up at the man, then nods his readiness to move along home.

"You can't tell anyone that... it would instantly move you from someone she needed to protect Dara from to a threat to the family." he held Marcus closer for a moment looking so very displeased with the idea.

He nods slowly "My lips are sealed Dima" peering up at the man steadily, earnest expression in his eyes. "Not a soul will know. You have my word"

Dima proceeds to drive Marcus the rest of the way home lost in thought mostly. His free hand holding Marcus's.

"I need to go and talk to my sister, remind her that the enemy is me.. not you." he said softly kissing Marcus's hand as he pulled up in front of his apartment building.

He waits till the hand is kissed, then pulls it to his own lips, repeating the gesture. "Call me if you need me. I'll be up all night anyway. Always have to wait so long to fall asleep." He flashes Dima a dazzling smile "Be safe love. And thank you for coming to get me tonight.."

Dima pauses looking up into Marcus's eyes, "I will always come for you." he said softly.

He sighs, a goofy grin forming on his lips and opens his mouth to say something, but realizes that nothing more really needs to be said and closes it. He leans forward on sudden impulse and kisses Dima briefly before getting out the car and walking towards the house with a wave over his shoulder at the man.