Serious Talks (Estaban) - Beach House - Estaban/Griselda

he looked at her, closely. Something about the way she stood. The way she kept repeating it. She.... wasn't feeling guilty. At all. It bothered him more than a little but he moved to touch her hand because he knew this was not her fault. And.. he had to be anchor now, to bring her closer.

"He will be okay in the end. And you did what you had to. Ian... might even be happier in the end for this. It was the right decision, though not an easy one. Maybe.. we can mourn for Ian..later. Of course they did this to break you a little."

The moment his hand touched hers, it was like some sort of flood wall had crashed. She turned her hand to grip his, and her voice broke. Just a little.

"I know. I know they did. And they succeeded."

He took her hand and softly turned her to him.

"You did what you had to. Do... the girls know?"

She still wasn't looking him in the eye. She just rested the top of her head against his chest.

"Naomi and Jazz? They were with me. They know."

He nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"You did what you had to. And they will have to deal with it. As will you. But we won't speak of it anymore. It is done and you had no choice. Is there.. anything else?"

She held up her hand, her index finger extended.

"Just one. Robert Benson. He's asked to bond himself to me. I've agreed... because... he told me who he really is. And... he needs a leash. It's the leash he's willingly put on himself. I can't... I can't just let him roam around free."

He was stock still, stopped as in time. Some part of him wanted to rage, to go off in anger. Other parts of him understood and some.. well his emotions warred behind his face. He was hiding nothing from her, wouldnt. He had told her the truth from their first day together.

Finally he spoke, still holding onto her, maybe a little closer, as if afraid of loosing her.

"So you sleep with someone who loves you completely and utterly, who would have you as his own. What.. do you do to calm him? I assume he knows of my love for you."

If he would let her, she would wrap her arms around him. She was shaking her head.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It's not like that, with me and Robert. He wanted it to be with someone he trusts. He trusts me. He knows I'll never reciprocate the bond, knows that I'm in love with someone else, if not exactly who. He knows it's just for fun, and he says that, even with the bond, he only wants friendship, and that sex is a bonus. It always feels weird, though, when I'm with him. So if you want me to not see him again, I won't. I never really meant to, anyway."

He let her put her arms around him, still holding her tight so as not to loose her.

"You cannot really leash him if you do not see him. I...I am sorry. I know you would never reciprocate. You even have asked me to hold your own heart. I.. You know how I feel about your lovers who actually love you."

Because it seemed that most of them did, sooner or later.

"I am selfish, as I want your love to myself."

And he meant love.

She tilted her head back, so she could look up at him. She had a look of confusion on her face, shaking her head slowly.

"But you already have that. You do... you always have. The only one I love is you."

He smiled, looking at her.

"I know my love. I truly do know. If you wish to leash him, do what you think best. I know you will do the right thing."

Something was on his mind still.

She knew him. She knew him just as well as he knew her.

"What? What is it?"

One hand went to her hair, running through it.

"I have been thinking something myself, trying to decide what to do. I had an epiphany recently."

She kept her arms around him. But now she was looking up at him. She still looked confused.

"First, let me say that, while you didn't say anything, I won't see Robert again. Not in any sort of sexual sense. Secondly... what? Please? Tell me?"

He looked down and then looked at her, his hands moving to hold her face.

"Before you left I played with new gangrel. She wanted it rough and hard. But through it all, all I can think was she was not you. She was nothing like you. And.. I could not enjoy myself. The first woman I have been with other than you and my sister since Ren left. I realized, I do not what anyone else. I no longer want to play with anyone else. I only want you. I want to be truly yours."

There were several looks that crossed her face. Fear, concern, a quick flash of anger, a whole lot of confusion, and finally... horror. He was looking at her and she leaned forward, pressing her head against his chest as she started to sob. There weren't tears, it was just the sound of her sobbing that she was obviously trying to fight.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to change you. I can leave, instead, if you want. So you can be with... whomever."

She caught hm completely by surprise. His jaw just dropped.

"What? No! I mean, no, my love, you misunderstand."

His hand pulled up her face and he kissed her, softly and passionately, pulling way only after a minute or so.

"I realize for the first time in my life I do not want anyone else. I want to be your mate and I want you to be mine. I want no one else in my bed. I want only you. But.. I have a problem. My Sire, sister and childe."

He was surprised. HE was surprised?! She almost didn't react to his kisses right away, so great was her shock. She wasn't pulling away from him, and once her brain seemed to process the words that he was speaking, she almost seemed in a rush to react. She kissed him, slowly and tenderly, but she hadn't let go of him.

"Are you... are you sure? I mean... I understand."

More of the words were sinking in.

"You can't." She nodded. "I understand. I do. It just means that nothing changes."

He shook his head.

"No, my love. Everything changes, but it has changed slowly and I finally realized what the change has been. What I am trying to tell you is what is going to happen. My sister will mock this decision, but I can handle this. Jazz.. I think will be fine, though I fear what will happen to her as she meets my Sire. That.. He is the only one that I will have a problem with. He...might disown me. But you are worth it to me. Because it is what I want. You are what I want."

He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small black box.

Words. Many of them. He was speaking them. She could hear them, but they didn't seem to truly understand the meaning of them. Her face actually scrunched up, in utter confusion. She continued to stare at him.

"......... Huh?"

She was confused.. completely confused. he sighed and kissed her, till her mind quieted. Then he pulled away and whispered to her.

"What did you not understand my love?"

She accepted his kiss and returned it, shaking her head.

"I'm... obviously not following. What are you trying to say? Because I thought you were mad, then you were talking about how nothing would change, and now you're saying that it's already changed and... I'm confused."

He smiled.

"No, I was never mad. I was explaining my thought processes. I do not enjoy other women...I only want you. This is a happy thing. When I was talking about my family, I did not mean nothing would change, I meant they would not approve. But I am not doing thins for their approval. I am doing this because I want you."

He opened the box and handed it to her, a small but old diamond ring inside it, what would have been popular in spain a hundred and fifty years before.

"I want you to be my mate."

............

It was the speech bubble above her head. Literally. Had they been drawn in a comic book, that's what would have been there. A never-ending line of dots. She was standing there, staring at him, her eyes wide as she seemed to be struggling to find words. That's right, still speechless. Her voice, though, seemed very small when she spoke. High-pitched and quiet.

"Are you... are you... sure?"

He smiled at her.

"Yes. I am sure. Of course... it means you will have to give up your other lovers. Are you willing to do that?"